Bobo sa Math.

Truth hurts.

2009-09-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

I was really hurt when I saw this picture. Unexpectedly a tear dropped over my cheek. I wasn't yet ready, it really caught me off guard. This picture made me aware for once again, that The Phillipines needs help from all of us Filipinos, we made so much focus on Politics that we didn't notice what our Nation really needs. Before we can start thinking about cleaning our World, we must first start in our own place. I wasn't also aware that the level of poverty hit this kind of stage.

I'm afrain, I'm very much afraid that maybe in the mere future, my child or our children might also experience this. I don't want them to eat something from the garbage, I don't want them to get sick due to their environment, I don't want them to suffer like this. I want them to grow healthy, I want them to grow with their ability to differ cleanliness from dirty.

The Philippines is really devastating, but somehow, from the faces of us Filipinos, it doesn't show. We maybe are smiling or laughing really hard about the things right now, but I know sometimes, we are still wondering about the things that will make our own Mother Land, better.

Still of hoping for our fast recovery.

Childhood.

2009-08-14T23:10:00.000-07:00

Namiss ko sila ng sobra, kaya natuwa ako nung makita ko tong video nila. (: Nakakamiss silang kalaro, yung chinese garter, bang sak, tagu-taguan, luksong baka, at kung ano-ano pang mga laro. Na-enjoy ko talaga ang childhood ko dahil sakanila. Hindi ako nagsisisi sa lahat ng peklat na natamo ko noon. Mga gabi na nakahiga kami sa mga bubong ng kotse (patay ka kapag nag-park ka sa tapat ng bldg.) nagkwekwentuhan ng mga nakakatakot. Naglalaro sa kalsada, walang paawat kahit may mga nagdadaanan na mga jeep. Dumadayo sa mga taga-ibang street para makipaglaro. Sama-sama nanonood kapag may fiesta.

Nakakamiss sila. Ang sakit isipin na kasama na ako sa mga nang-iwan sa kalye na yun. Dati nalulungkot kami kapag may mga kalaro kaming nag-papaalam at lilipat na sa ibang lugar. Magiging isa din pala ako sa mga yun.

Nakakamiss sila. :( Sana balang-araw makasama at makalaro ko ulit sila.

Mae,Ren-ren lalake, Ren-ren Babae, Baldo, Tan-tan, Ton-ton, Paola, Aber, Jayson, Myra, Baldo, Meanne, Toy-toy, Jaypee, John-john, JC, Craig, Jonathan, Axl Lalake,Beejay, Honey, Clair, at kung sino mang nakalimutan.

Ilang beses nabuwag ang pagkakaibigan dahil sa mga bagong lipat na mga kupal, pero wag mag-alala. WALA NA SILA. =))

10 Random Facts About Me.

2009-08-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

Before I start this trivia-ish entry about me. Let me just burst out what I am feeling about this madirpakingshit course. Ggrr. I miss being a highschool student, I can't stand this drawing-all-day thing. Our Prelims gonna start tomorrow and I don't have any idea what the fxck I am going to review. Geeez. Motivation. I need motivation. Hahaha.

So these are the 10 random facts about me:

10. I'm a flat-footed mammal.
9. I don't enjoy eating popcorns.
8. I love watching horror-suspense movies even when I'm just alone.
7. When I was a kid, I used to eat my booger thinking it was also a food. =)) yuck.
6. I can't swim.
5. I have palsied eyelids. =)) LOL. KIRAT!
4. I used to like the color pink, and now I despise it. =))
3. I have a father who's also a rocker. LOOOOOOL.
2. I can't sleep with lights open and an unlocked door.
1. I FREAKING SNORE! =))

Tha's all. =))

The Most Painful Thing.

2009-07-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

“How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to”
-- Unknown

When I was in my frosh year in highschool, weird akong tao. Wala akong pakielam sa iniisip ng iba basta I'm good with my stuffs. Para akong emo na hiphop. Nagsusulat ng tula habang ang lahat ay nagkakaroon ng active na recitation. Nagyayabang ng mga bagay na para sa lahat ay kabaduyan. May naging isang tunay na kaibigan na alam kong hindi ako kailanman iniwanan pero binalewala ko lang. May dalawang naging kaibigan na hindi ko alam kung saan sa mundo nila napulot yung mentalities nila. Inshort, hindi ko kilala ang sarili ko sa mga panahong iyon, hanggang sa makilala ko sila.

They taught me to face the reality. They brought the best out of me. They inspired me to be the best. Nung una wala akong pakialam sa studies ko since naging okay na student ako during my elementary, but then I realized kailangan ko pa din magsipag para lang makasama sila. I need to study para iisa lang ang section naming lahat. Hindi ko naman talaga kailangan magsipag pero pinili ko pa din, dahil masaya ako sakanila.

Sobrang dami kong natutunan, ang daming bagay yung bigla kong narealize ng dahil sakanila. Isang pagkakaibigan na hindi kayang pantayan ng iba.

Pinaka-astig na barkada para saakin. Madaming kalokohan pero at the same time, okay pa din sa academics. Dito mo mararanasan yung damayan, yung tipong lahat ng magulang niyo, badtrip na sa inyo dahil inaabot ng hating-gabi sa pagtambay sa isang bahay, kumakain ng Pancit Canton sa isang malaking pinggan, nag-aagawan, palakihan ng subo, naghaharutan, nagdadamutan at nagchichismisan. Minsan nga umabot pa sa isang gang rape e. Yung tipong pagtutulongan ka na huhubaran at hahawak-hawakan.

Sobrang saya. Yun yung mga Glory Years kasama sila. Yung sabay-sabay na kakain sa Canteen, na panigurado tatlo sa anim, magkaparehas ng ulam. Sisig, Sinigang, Nilaga. Nagtatakbuhan papunta sa isang bench, nagpapaunahan kung sino makakaupo sa unahan. Ang pagpunta sa SM Manila para lang kumain sa Food Court at magwindow shopping. Ang pagsusukat ng mga pinakanakakatawang bagay na makikita na nakadisplay. Yung pag-ayos ng "dirty finger" sa mga daliri ng manikin sa mga boutique.

Hanggang sa nagdalaga/nagmature ang isip, magkakasama pa din. Dumating sa point na magkakasama pa din sa pagpapaganda, may mga pumupunta na ng Salon para magpa-ayos, bumibili ng damit para pang-Gimik, nagsasabihan ng mga nalalaman tungkol sa alak, nag-iipon para makabili ng mga mamahaling yosi para lang matikman.

Ang mga bata, nagdalaga na.

Mga nagkaroon ng boyfriend, nagkaroon ng break-up, manliligaw. Lahat dadaan muna sa isang napakaseryosong usapan.

----

Pero may hangganan din ang lahat. Hindi na iisa ang aming section at mismong ang eskwelahan na pinapasukan namin, malayo na rin sa bawat isa. Siguro nga, we must move on. Kailangan magbigay ng chance sa ibang tao para maging part din ng buhay natin. Kailangan sila bigyan ng chance para maprove na may iba pang tao ang makakapagbigay ng masasayang memories sa atin.

I've really tried my best para hindi mawasak yung relasyon natin, I mean gusto ko mapreserve or mag humigit pa yung openess na meron tayo, pero nakakapagod din pala mga mahal. :( Hindi ko na maipipilit kung mismong sa mga sarili niyo, inaayawan niyo na. :( Minsan kasi, kahit hindi halata, nasasaktan din talaga ako kapag naiisip kong hindi niyo man lang kayang magteks kahit isang mensahe lang. *umiiyak na* Hindi naman sa nagdedemand ako lagi ng oras niyo, gusto ko lang na updated tayo lagi sa mga nangyayari satin.

Alam niyo, kung alam ko lang na ganito mangyayari satin kapag grumaduate tayo, siguro magiging sobrang bait ko na talaga sainyo. :( Ngayon ko lang narealize yung worth ng time habang kasama ko kayo. Sana instead na nakikipag-away ako sainyo, sinusulit ko na lang yung time na kasama ko kayo. Sayang pala yung mga oras na tinatanggihan ko. Nakakapanghinayang. Na-take for granted ko ang lahat sa atin during those years.

Sorry ha. :( Hindi ko kasi alam na magkakaganito tayo.

Hindi sa sumusuko na ako, binibigyan ko lang ng chance yung mga magiging bestfriends ko na sumaya din saakin. Siguro kung nakayanan nating bumuo ng isang pagkakaibigan na walang makakatalo, siguro kaya din naman natin bumuo din ng ganung pagkakaibigan sa ibang tao. Kaya pa din natin magbigay ng kulay sa ibang tao.

---------

Fatima Santos, salamat sa lahat. Sa pagiging "MAMA" ko. Sorry kung hindi na kita natatawag na ganun, kasi feeling ko nagiging dependent ako sayo kapag tinawag pa din kitang ganun e. Salamat sa mga pagtakas mo ha. Sorry kung feeling mo ayaw ko sa mga lalake mo. Ikaw lang nag-iisip nun. Hindi lang talaga ako nakikielam, pero kung tatanungin mo ako, syempre gusto ko sa taong alam ko na safe at mamahalin ka ng sobra.

Nalla Tan, ang kaaway ko nung first year. Ang bestfriend ko for how many years. Thank you lagi dahil always on the go ka. Yun lang aaminin ko, minsan hinihiling ko na sana single ka na lang palagi para lagi kang may time samin. :( Nakakamiss ka kasi e, madalas gusto namin na masolo ka lang. Kasi sa lahat ng alis natin anjan din lagi si Biber e. Minsan uncomfortable pa din dahil sanay kami na puro babae lang tayo.

Cithel Abante, ang listener. Never naging bias. Salamat ha. Alam ko ikaw din ang pinakamalakas mag-effort dahil pati studies mo kailangan mong bigyan ng malaking importance. Tumatakas ka kahit nabubungangaan ka na ng nanay mo. Hahaha. Tigilan mo na ang UNO.

Arianne Fronteras, hindi ko maintindihan kung ano nangyayari sayo. Siguro nga sobrang saya din ng company sa new found friends mo, pero sana minsan paramdam ka naman. Wag ka na din papabadshot sa rents mo ha. Proprove mo pa na you're better than your kuya diba?

Rency Rosario, thanks. Ikaw ang pinaka-open minded sa lahat. Kahit inuuntog ka na ng nanay mo, tuloy ka pa din sa pagsama. Tikas mo din e no? Hahaha. Wag na masyadong tamad. Saka sana malaman mo na din yung talagang gusto mo mangyari sa buhay mo.

These are the things na hindi ko masabi sainyo personally. Lagi niyong tatandaan na mahal na mahal ko kayo and miss na miss ko na kayo.

JANUARY 4, 2006.

BOMBARKADA.

Bell ng Medal.

2009-07-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

First of all, I just want to say that I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOOOOOOVE ICE AGE! :D Try watching it, promise it will make your day a blast for reals. (:

I'm trying to update myself here, so I got alot of plans now, I'm trying to fix myself from being a (insert the most gross word here). That's right. So from now on I'm thinking (for the nth time) of having my diet. I was with Bibis last night, and one of my bestfriends' boyfriend noticed that I'm getting fatter and fatter. So how's that right? I also noticed it. I'm starting to have another chin. LMAO. =)) So I want to start living fit. =)) I'm also thinking of having my hair rebonded. What do you think friends? Is it going to be alright? Anyway. So I'm thinking of sharing you me and my little brother's conversation awhile ago.

So while I was having my brunch. My little brother, Blair went downstairs.

Brother: Ate, sabi ni tita (our nanny.) kung nakita mo daw yung ... ay ano nga ulit yun.
*brother went upstairs again to ask, then went down again.*
Brother: Ate, nakita mo daw yung bell ng medal ko?
Me: *being clueless* Hindi e. Saan ba nakalagay?
*Brother finger pointing the sala.*
Me: Hindi ko alam e. *wtf am I gonna do with your medal's bell?*
And so brother went upstairs.

I can't get over thinking about it, only to realize that medals have no bells on it. =))

After a couple of hours, I was busy watching Bring It On: Again.

Ate Agnes went downstairs.

Ate Agnes: Axl, napansin mo ba yung bill ng Meralco?
Me: Hindi e.

So that's it. =)) Bell ng medal ko = Bill ng Meralco.

LOL.

Funny.

2009-07-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny? Ofcourse it is. Huh? What? Ahh. What I am trying to pertain is the blog entry below this post. I just really find it funny or should I say mushy. As you can see I wrote that entry 3 yrs. ago. Yes dudels. It was me. The way I used to be. If only you've known me before, you really can tell that alot of changes occured in myself. I used to be a sweet immature baby that doesn't care about what people might say about me as long as I love that person. When I love, I really love without any hesistations at all.

Till that Guy, left me. LOOOOL! Yeah. We're friends now. After three years, finally we had our closure.

I started to act like in love you need to be wise, to be alert and to be analytical. I started judging people, I started to be a perfectionist, you know, and I want my man to be like this, that, oh and whatsoever. I remember rejecting a guy because he's not that good looking but that guy really likes me and I know he'll give me nothing but a pure love, but because of a traumatic experience, I didn't entertain him.

So I've came up into a realization that I need to change my perceptions in love. I must mature. I must think not about the things that people around me might say. Its just that, I must love that person without being a smart-ass.

I don't really need to be a hypocrite, right? But the problem is, I don't really know how to and where to start.

Why is it like this? I keep on asking myself if he's really worth it? Why do I think about my self assurance? Am I just being selfish?

Okay. I'm being boggled.

BABALA!!!

2009-07-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

FIRST OF ALL, DO NOT BOTHER TO SCROLL DOWN NOR READ ANY SINGLE THING BELOW IF YOUR NAME ISN'T JIREH VELOSO OKAY? LOOOOL. THIS IS A LUFFTREFF THENG.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

BoOLAGA...!

Ay hantagal kong nawala..AnOh na ba nangyari sakin...?

Okay isa isahin kOh..

Diba ang alam nyO eh si sadako mahal kO.. well lOl nilason ni jai utak ko jOke!!

Naging m.u. kami ni jai (YAH RiGHT!) lOl..

1 wk ba? lol tas nung 8 sb kO dun ko sya sasagutin perO nag aayabyu toO na akO sakania..

Sweet sya.. lOl tas nung 9 pumunta kaming pampanga pasyal kami nila kuya kuyahan lol..

Tas pagdating ko umalis naman kami ni baby (uuyy si jai yan) lOl..

gabi na nun mga 8:30 na ata kami nagkita.. well nu nangyari? samin na lang yun lOl..

Okray nya akO.. tas bugbOg naman sya sakin..

Tas ano pa ba ngayOn planO namin lumabas bukas.. same place && time..

sa sm manila.. lOl

Okay okay bakit MAHAL NA MAHAL KO BABY KO..?

Simple lang ehtOh mga rasOn..:

o1. Bait 2 da max ever!

o2. Sweetness Dude!

o3. Mapagpasensya

o4. Binebaby ako

o5. Ano pa ba? lOl

o6. Under sakin

o7. Punching Bag ko

o8. Galing kumanta Nuxx!!

o9. Lagi akong napapatawa kahit KERNY na lOl

1o. Napapasmile nya ako.. Ayyyyiiieee!!

Okay first away namin eber!!

Kasi mga april 7,2006 nun mga gabi.. Gamit ko sn nya blah blah nakausap ko mga ex nya..

well di pA kami nun kasi 7 pa lang.. pero ah bsta nagselOs tlga ako..

tas as in uuurrggghhh!!!!!!!!! ala ako sa moOd.. natulOg akO ng wala sa moOd..

tas mga 9 am ng april 8 nun.. syempre kami na nung day na un.. as in pagkagcng ko di ko sya tinawagan

tiniis ko muna.. tas tumawag sya ayunn ala pa dn akong kibO..

Tas nung nag usap na kami prehas na kaming ala sa moOd.. and umiyak pa tlga ako ..

nakachat ko dn sya sa ym and eh2 ung conversation namin..

j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:13:54 PM): by ano ba
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:13:55 PM): problem
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:14:01 PM): wla
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:14:11 PM): ano nga po?
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:14:18 PM): wla nga
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:14:22 PM): bat ka ganyan
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:14:29 PM): bakit
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:14:41 PM): ano ba meron
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:14:56 PM): di ka nman kasi ganyan baby weh
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:15:02 PM): hnd ko alam
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:15:39 PM): di ka nman gnyan last night
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:16:01 PM): hhmm
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:16:41 PM): well??
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:16:50 PM): di k
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:16:54 PM): ko* alam
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:16:56 PM):
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:17:58 PM): ok...
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:18:05 PM): il just leave u alone nlang..
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:18:11 PM): ayt
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:18:26 PM): umm..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:18:33 PM): so u wana go through this?
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:18:45 PM): i dunno
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:18:51 PM): i mean..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:18:58 PM): sa relationship..
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:19:09 PM): di ko alam..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:19:13 PM):
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:19:36 PM): di mo naman kailangan magtiis sakin..
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:19:52 PM): natitiis ba ako
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:19:59 PM): diba ngayon
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:20:01 PM): di mo na nga
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:20:02 PM): alam
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:20:12 PM): kung gs2 mo pa i2loy
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:20:22 PM): ung relationshio,,,
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:20:46 PM): kung ayaw mo na...
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:20:56 PM): isipin mo mga snb mo skn last night
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:21:19 PM): ng malaman mo ung sagot sa mga tanong mo
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:21:34 PM): i understand..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:21:38 PM): dibale..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:22:24 PM): cguro..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:22:55 PM): u deserve someone better than me angel..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:23:07 PM): i understand..
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:23:17 PM): hhmm.. cguro nga
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:23:35 PM): ok..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:24:38 PM): sorry nlang sa laht..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:25:01 PM): kung i wasnt able 2 be what u wanted..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:25:07 PM): dont worry..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:25:13 PM): i wont bother u again..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:26:30 PM): and tnx sa lahat... and yeah masaya ako coz akala ko everything would be alright angel... masaya ako coz i thought id end up wit some1 na mahal ko talaga.. but what can i do kung ikaw na mismo may ayaw diba..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:26:42 PM): 4 d last time..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:26:43 PM):
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:26:46 PM): mahal na mahal kita..
j_4_i.3721 (4/8/2006 12:34:48 PM): baby.. wag mo kakalimutan ung mga bilin ko ah.. wag mo kakalimutan kumain.. wag ka mag pupuyat.. wag ka magpapagabi pag aalis ka... mag iingat ka lagi baby ah.. ty sa lahat ah.. sorry din.. ingat ka lagi.. mahal na mahal kita.. . hope makita mo ung magpapasaya sayo..
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:35:11 PM):
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:35:19 PM): drama mo
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:35:35 PM): di mo ata nagetz eh
xllx_babii_angel_xllx (4/8/2006 12:35:53 PM): hanlayo ng mga snsb mo

ayan lolerz.. away namin tampururut.. kasi nagselos tlga ako..

pero ayunn napaiyak nya ako sb ko ayaw ko sya mawala ayyiiee

tas ayun okay na.. ahahaha

Ano mga gs2 kong nagawa skn ni baby?

o1. Kahit sinasapak sinasampal kinukurot ko sya.. di nya ako ginantihan WHOA!! lol

o2. Nikiss nya ako sa forehead..

o3. Holding hands eber na pinapalo ko pa kamay nya

o4. Hinatid nya pa akO.. ahaha

o5. Niyakap nya ako

o6. Nikiss nya kamay ko..

o7. Niayos nya hair ko..

o8. Concern sya..

o9. Strict to the max si baby.. na daig nya pa daddy ko.. actually para syang si daddy..

1o. Wala na akong masasabi pa kasi nasa kanya na tlga lahat ng gs2 ko

Ano pagkakahawig nila ni daddy?

o1. Strict (pero tama lang)

o2. The way he talks

o3. Basta para syang si daddy tinatakot nya pa ako palagi

o4. Sinasabi nya skn ung mga snsb dn skn ni daddy

o5. Spoiled ako sakanya parang keh daddy lol

Ano lagi ginagawa ko sakanya?

o1. Suntok,tajak, kurot && hampas

o2. "che,he,ehh,uhhmm" lol ahahaha

o3. aylabyu tas pag nagaylabyu 2 sya Che!! lol

o4. Taray..

o5. Sunget

o6. Ah bsta!!

Kilala sya ng mga taO ditO sa bahay actually tinatanOng pa sya skin.. lOl

Next time pagnakausap ko c mOmmy kwekwentO kO sakanya si jai kilai (ay oo nga pala meh mga tawag ako keh baby.. " jai kilai , monkey, spywirman and goosefighter, ngongi, loid")

Kilala sya ng pated kong c megmeg

AY eka brb kain muna..

LoVEYoU BABY <33

Brain Exercising.

2009-07-05T04:30:00.000-07:00

Just thinking of changing my blog lay-out, but too lazy to make a move. Hahaha.
I have alot of things to tell you guys, but still I'm too lazy to type it. Maybe a little later. Hahaha. Owki-dowki?

BitterBetter.

2009-06-22T20:14:00.001-07:00

I can't really say that I'm okay. I didn't cry. But I know I'm still in a deepshit. Okay?

This explains it all.

ME: Ewan ko nga kung bakit pa kita pinagtiyatiyagaan e.

HIM: Ah. Okay. Maghanap ka na lang ng iba na ikaw yung pagtiyatiyagaan. Sorry, pero di ko pala talaga kayang magpa-under. Sige.

ME: Oo. Maghanap ka din ng mahaba ang pasensya at tanga. I don't really deserve you. Tama sila. You're such a whore for me. Makati ka masyado.

HIM: Sorry kung di ko na-meet yung mga expectations mo as bf. Hindi mo din ako tanggap. Hindi na siguro tayo magwowork. Tama nga sila, matured ka nga pero ibang klase. Sorry for the words. Ay. Wag na lang. Sige.

HIM: Tama ka. We don't deserve each other. I deserve someone better and you as well. Bye.

ME: Hindi talaga kita tanggap. Sino tatanggap sa isang lalakeng makati pa sa pokpok? No. You deserve someone DUMBER. Para mauto mo ng mga kasinungalingan mo.

ME: Tapos your face. Ayaw na kitang makita and kakalimutan na kita. 5 months is a nightmare with you. Thanks to your actions. It made me realize na di ka dapat mahalin.

Well. I must move on. Life still continues. It doesn't need to have an ending yet. I'm still bright as the sun. Hahaha. Let's just say it's just a piece of a not-so-big-dillema (perhaps a crap) in my story. I have lots of friends. There's no need to rush things. I know I'll find him not maybe tonight nor next month, but I know in my beating heart, one day, ME and MY OTHER EGO will also meet.

I still got class @ 1 p.m. See ya! ;p

Homesiiiiiiick.

2009-06-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

Ang tagal ko din hindi nakapag-post, sa kadahilanan na masyado akong busy or should I say tinatamad lang talaga ako. Hindi na din ako nakapag-blog tungkol sa first day ( June 15,2009) ko as a College Student. Masaya naman lahat dahil hindi ako nahirapan makahanap ng mga kaibigan. Ang dami nga namin e. Pero hindi pa rin maiiwasan na kahit anong dami namin, hinahanap-hanap ko pa din yung mga bestfriends ko. Umaasa na makikita ko sakanila yung ressemblance sa mga kaibigan ko noong hayskul. Nakaka-HOME SICK din pala talaga yung classroom na may grupo ng mga matatalino, grupo ng mga lalake na walang ibang ginawa kung hindi kumuha ng mga litratong nakaw, at yung grupo ng mga babae na sobrang pasaway sa classroom at daig pa ang mga lalake sa mga kalokohan. Yun ang grupo ko.

Masaya naman ako dahil halos lahat naman ng nangyayari sa klase ay pa-ayon naman sa`kin. Presidente ako ng 1ID-3, dapat ko naman yun ikatuwa dahil simula pa lang ng klase, nakita ko na agad na may tiwala ang mga kaklase ko sa akin. Nadagdagan yung kumpyansa ko sa sarili ko na makakaya ko ang buhay ng isang kolehiyala. Madami na din nakakakilala sakin dahil siguro natural na sa akin ang pagiging madaldal sa klase.

Pero iba pa rin yung pagiging loko-loko ko nung hayskul. Hindi ko kailangan ng good impression dahil kilala na talaga nila ako. Hindi ko kailangan maging ipokrita na alam ko to, alam ko yan dahil wala lang sakanila yun. Alam namin ang kanya-kanya naming aspekto sa academics.

Naiilang pa din ako sakanila, kasi hindi ko ineexpect na magiging ganito ang posisyon ko sa klase namin. Isang babae na madaldal na lahat halos ng sasabihin ay magiging sanhi na agad nang kanilang pagtawa. Babaeng Bading. Hindi ata ako yun. Oo alam ko cruelly honest ako sa isang bagay kaya ang mga makakarinig sa akin matatawa. Pero sa totoo lang seryoso ako sa lahat ng sinasabi ko. Hindi ko gusto ang pagtawa nila bilang sagot sa lahat ng sinasabi ko. Gusto ko din marinig mga komento nila. Babaeng Bading? Hindi ako yun. Babaeng Lalake ako. Hindi din ako yung tipo ng tao na maraming alam sa buhay, mas malakas lang talaga loob ko na subukan ang mga bagay-bagay.

Nakakahiya din dahil alam ko halos lahat ng mga kaklase ko, lumaki sa isang magandang pamilya, magandang environment. Nahihiya ako sa bitchy mouth ko. Pala-mura kami sa barkada, sanay na kami at madalas wala lang sa amin ang pagmumura. Kumbaga usual na siya. Minsan nga pati ang pagdidirty finger ko nakakapanghinang gawin kapag ang mga kaharap ko ay yung mga blockmates ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam. Natatakot kasi ako na baka maging iba yung pagkaka-unawa nila sa kilos ko.

Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko alam paano ako makikitungo sakanila nang hindi ako nagiging ipokrita.
Sana mapalagay na din ako. Siguro it really takes time lang talaga.

Raves.

2009-05-21T11:54:00.001-07:00

It's already 2:57 in the morning, and I'm still awake, doing nothing. Yesterday, I went to UST to get my uniforms, I woke up at 1 p.m. , rode a taxi and boom boom pow! Only to know that I can only avail it on May 28. Hahaha. I went to my Dad's house, and there we argued. Things are so complicated, it's very hard to be in a situation like this. I cried a little, I just can't control my liquids from dropping that time.

I feel the need of exploding. But NO. I don't want to, I'll just make it more complicated for them. 'Ang sama-sama ng loob ko sakanila.' I know they are not aware of that. They see me as a daughter who just needs their money, a daughter that doesn't care about them, a selfish daughter, a daughter that can handle the situation because she's not really affected, I'm the prodigal child for them.

Their moneys aren't enough to mold a better person out of me. Their moneys aren't enough to comfort a crying heart. Their moneys aren't enough to know who their first daughter really is. It's just that their moneys aren't enough.

In my almost seventeen years of existence, I never felt that I really have parents. I mean, whenever I'm in a trouble or what, shouting or calling their names didn't come in my mind, because I know I can't really count on them. Calling my mom? What can she do, she's not here in the country. Calling my dad? What can he do, he's busy being boggled with the things accdg. to him my mom did. He's busy thinking of the annulment shits. He's still immature, he can't be really a father to us. He's lazy, irresponsible, and extravagant. All they can do is to give money.

"Maghihirap kayo kapag nawala ako." -- Mama Letty. (My Lola.)
It's her, who took care of me since I was a little. She died because of the fxcking cervical cancer. I spent my 13 years of life with her. A princess for 13 consecutive years. Whenever people ask me about who I will choose between my mom and dad, I will always answer 'MAMA.' But now she's gone, I got no choice but to live with my mom. She's the one who's paying for my education and for my internet connection. Mama is a big loss, the go-signal. I need to mature.

Living in a house without a parent and just a nanny is a very tempting one to do a life wrecking movements. Thank God I was born a smart ass and a concious freak. Thank God because I care for whatever the people may say about me. I'm still not pregnant, and I listen to my teachers. I can still control myself from being a mess. KUNG GAGO LANG TALAGA AKO.

I envy others who got a stage-mom. I envy others who are being fetched by their parents. I envy others who got a chance to have a baon, being prepared by their mothers. I envy others.

They never had been in any of my graduations. They never saw me wearing my prom dress. They're not even aware of my achievements,hobbies and interests. They are just not there.

It hurts to know that it is now very impossible for me to experience all the things that I'm wishing for since I was a kid. A happy family with them. A peaceful life with them.

A chest pain because of them. I just need to wait for five years. I really need to finish schooling sooner, I want myself to be separated for all the problems, though I need to face it, atleast I have my business on my own, I can manipulate it in my own hands by that time. I'm making a promise to myself that someday I'll have a family of my own, I'll try my best to be the best parent for my child/ren. I wont make them feel that they're alone though at some point I need to teach them on how to be independent.

-__- If you still have your parents with you, you're very lucky. Savor every second with them.

That's my only simple wish yet an impossible one.

3 hours?

2009-05-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

Oh My God. Why is this happening again? I slept for like 3 hours only? I hate it. -__-
Anyway, I'm a home-alone-Axl freak again for atleast 3 days? Grr.

Okay. -__- I don't really know what to say. I guess I should eat my breakfast first. Hahaha. Geez.

Satisfying?

2009-05-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

It's very satisfying to know that, I am in a good condition now. I'm learning to divert my attention little by little, and it is good to know that I'm starting to act normal again, think normal again, just the way I lived my life, few months ago. I've been a dumbass-hypocrite for thinking that I've finally moved on. I even thought that I'm inlove again with someone, till I saw him again. I wasn't so sure on how I will react or say, I don't know if I'll just smile or laugh or say what I was really feeling that time. He kissed another girl infront of me. I saw it and it distracted me. Anyway, I really don't have to react on that, thinking that I'm the one who broke up with him.

It's just that, it really pinched my heart. I won't deny it this time. I already told him how I felt that night. A relief, it made the process more easy. Spilling out yer feelings is a good therapy eh? Being harsh in words are not that bad, I guess so? Hahaha. I can't keep him forever, and I can't wish for him to come back. I can't do that. We've been through alot of damages and I can't stand to add more on that. Just let the things fall into their places? or should I say, COME WHAT MAY? Right guys?

I'm starting to hang-out with my friends again, I stopped depriving myself from talking to someone, I can even see myself from the mirror, smiling again. Laughing hard again, you knoooooooow. This is me. This is Axl. This is the way I want myself to be again.

Thanks to my friends. I love you's for all of you. (:

Axlogy.

2009-05-07T01:29:00.000-07:00

Akselogy.

Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this with your name followed by "-ology"

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?

► JS PROM 2K9

Q. How many televisions you have in your house?

► 3

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?

► Righty

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

► Hmm.

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

► No.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

► EBAK.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?

►Violet and dark blue.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?

► Nope.
.

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?

► Sure. Hahahaha!

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?

► Heck no.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?

► Goodluck! Hahahaha. Dangerous for your health.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

► Maderhamper.No.

Q: What is in your left pocket?

► My Pj's doesn't have a pocket.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?

► Haven't watched it yet.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?

► Yeys.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?

► Stand.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?

► 5 or 6

Q: Last person who texted you?

► Bru. (:

Q: Last person u called?

► Paaaaanda.

Q: Person you hugged?

► ...

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?

► 31

Q: Color?

► Yellow and Orange.

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?

► Ofcourse.

Q: Mood?

► I'm good.

Q: Listening to?

► Rihanna - If it's lovin that you want.

Q: Watching?

► Tom and Jerry.

Q: Worrying about?

► Studies and friends.

Q: Wearing?

► Sando and pajama

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?

► C.R.

Q: What can you not wait to do?

► Be with him.

Q: Do you smile often?

► Yes.

Q: Are you a friendly person?

► According to them. (:

AXL ROSE.

2009-05-05T06:44:00.001-07:00

ZOMFGWTFBBQJDSLKAS!!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! PARA AKONG NAPAGTRIPPAN NG SARILI KONG MGA MAGULANG.

SANA PINANGALANAN NA LANG NILA AKO NG EBAK, TAE O ANO MAN.

ALMOST 17 YEARS NA AKO SA MUNDONG ITO,

AKALA NG IBA COOL YUNG NAME KO NA:

MARIA AXL ROSE PATACSIL.

ANAGRAM PALA ANG AXL ROSE

KAPAG SHINUFFLE ANG LETTERS NG AXL ROSE

MAKAKABUO NG, TENTENENENTENTEN ..

ORAL SEX.

OKAY. SO ANG PANGALAN KO NGAYON AY:

MARIA ORAL SEX PATACSIL.

WHAT THE FXCK?!

--- Salamat kay Hakobo Oliva. Sakanya namulat ang kamalayan ko. :D

One More Chance.

2009-05-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

"One More Chance". Watching Pinoy Films is definitely not me. Everybody was busy watching Manny Pacquiao's game, and me? Mmmkay. Super bored. So I flipped the channel, and I saw this movie. I didn't expect that it was going to be a heavy rain for my eyes. This movie made me a crybaby, as in I HAGULGOL.

I can't relate my previous relationship with theirs since I haven't into a long relationship yet. But I can say I can see myself in Basha, being matigas and all --though I know my love for that guy doesn't perish yet. I've been like that for how many times, thinking that it would be a better idea for us to part ways. Maybe I just want to be more practical for ourselves, for myself, I just want us to grow. Giving chances for us to seek for a better person in us, for us. Change is constant. and I know it sucks.

"Alam mo, hanggang ngayon, umaasa pa rin ako na sabihin mo sa akin na ako pa rin. Ako na lang. Poy, ako na lang ulit" -- Basha.

I'm not a perfect partner, I know I'm such a pain in the ass. Gusto ko ako lagi yung bine-baby, epekto siguro ng paghahanap ng Ama. Once in a blue moon daw ako kung maglambing, siguro epekto nung nasaktan ako ng ex ko na sobrang binigay ko yung best ko sa lahat ng pagiging sweet na alam ko. Matigas daw ako, siguro nakita ko sa nanay ko na naging mahina sa erpat ko. Madali akong magbago, lagi na lang akong dumedepende sa ipinakikita ng partner ko.

I've been single for two years, (not considering the relationships that i've been into as a serious one.) and I've got a lot of questions back then. Asking why is it the two persons need to seperate if they really love each other? How can they tell whether it's for the better of them? How can this girl doesn't have a trust to this guy and yet she loves him? If you really love each other you're very willing to accept him again after the things he had done right? Everybody can change, he deserves another chance right?

Hindi pala ganun kadali. Once a guy did something not nice, hindi pala talaga maiiwasan na hindi maging Tamang Hinala ang babae. Kaya pala ang daming nirerestrict ng babae dahil ayaw na niyang mabawasan nanaman yung tiwala niya sa partner niya. Mahirap pala talaga ibalik ang tiwala kahit gustuhin mo, dahil nakakatrauma kapag naloko ka. Hindi pala ganun kadali ang tumanggap na lang ng tumanggap. Naisip ko dati bakit ba kailangan magsawa kung mahal mo naman? Bakit ka nahihirapan na umintindi kung mahal mo naman? Lahat pala ng iyon, mahirap. Hindi ko ineexpect na magiging ganun kabigat sa dibdib.

Hindi ko pa naranasan yung talagang sumama ang loob ko sa isang lalake, nasanay ako na naa-under ko sila. Hanggang sa dumating sa point na nagsawa na siya at iniwan na niya ako. Masakit pala. Akala ko dati madali lang makapag-move on. Ang kapal ng mukha kong makipag-break. Hindi pala ganun kadali iwasan yung sakit. Kaya pala naging single yung isang ex ko for how many years. Nakasakit pala ako.

Madalas akong magbasa at manood ng mga lovestories, pinipilit i-evaluate kung paano nila i-handle ang isang sitwasyon. In my previous relationship, nagtry talaga ako, sinabi ko sa sarili ko this time I'll try to be more matured and pipilitin kong intindihin lahat. Pag-aaralan ko kung paano magpatawad, umintindi at tumanggap. Punyeta. Mahirap! Siguro kung super mahal mo talaga yung tao matitiis mo lahat. Hindi pala. Dapat moderate lang. Hindi dapat na ikaw lang ang nagdadala sa isang relasyon. Dapat siya din pala.

Back to Basha, madalas ako ang nakikipagbreak, kapag kinukulit ako lalo akong umaayaw, pero kapag nakikita ko na unti-unti na talagang nadidissolve yung pagmamahal niya at nakakahanap na siya ng bago, saka ko na gustong-gustong sabihin na:

"Alam mo, hanggang ngayon, umaasa pa rin ako na sabihin mo sa akin na ako pa rin. Ako na lang. Poy, ako na lang ulit"

Pero hindi pwede. Hindi pwede dahil ako naman ang gumawa ng mali diba? Ako ang nakipag-break. Kaya nararamdaman ko na wala akong karapatan masaktan dahil nakipagbalikan siya, tinanggihan ko, tapos ngayon ako pa masasaktan?

Siguro ang tamang pampalubag-loob na lang para sa mga nangyayaring masasakit,

"BATA KA PA. MARAMI PANG IBA DIYAN. MAS HIGIT AT MAS MAMAHALIN KA PA."

Persons.

2009-05-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants for this summer. I miss my friends terribly. I miss hanging out with them, going home with them, chismisan with them. I miss those days. Lalong lalo na kapag after school, yung bumibili kami ng mga expensive cigarettes just to have a try. Magtatago kami sa may Malacañang para lang mag-smoke. Kalat-kalat mga yosi sa place na yun then it was raining really hard nung time na yun, tapos lahat kami ihing-ihi na. Guess what. Umihi kami sa gilid lang ng bldg. nagbabantayan kung may dadaan na vehicle. Hahaha! That was great. I've shared alot of my first times with them. Countless experiences with them.

I miss our chowking moments where we were all salivating for extra garlic rice, the shanghai and the siomai. Our first inuman, na nagmukha akong aswang dahil first time ko nalasing agad ako. Basta sobrang daming hindi ko makakalimutan.

Look at us now, heading for college already. Different Universities to attend to. Different paths to begin with.

I miss us, Spending my highschool days with them my must-be-treasured moments.

Hope we can still be those kids crawling on our classroom's floor, buraoting each other, laughing really hard, knocking out each other, and still sharing our first times.

I miss being with you BIBIS.

Bombarkada est. January 4,2006

Graduate na tayo mga bords. :(

Finally.

2009-04-30T00:06:00.000-07:00

Finally, I decided na to quit for awhile sa Rakista. Sobrang exposed na ako, siguro enough na yun. Masyado na din akong maraming natutunan sa website na yun. Masyado na akong na-advance. Hindi na tama para sa edad ko, baka hindi ko na ma-enjoy ang buhay baka maging tamang hinala na ako sa lahat ng tao, baka wala na akong pagkatiwalaan, baka pati moralidad ko maapektuhan na. Masaya ako at naging parte ako ng website na yun. Nakasaksi ako ng maraming bagay which gave way para maging more sensitive ako sa mga bagay at maging open-minded. Ang dami kong na-witness, iba-ibang istorya ng iba't-ibang tao.

Tama. Aaminin ko. Hindi ako sumali sa website na yun dahil sa music. Hindi ako rockers, mainstream lang ako. Sumali ako dahil curious ako. I want to observe, rakista erpat ko baka hindi niyo alam, nacurious ako bakit hanggang ngayon nagpapakarockers pa si erpat. Nakita ko naman sa mga tao kung ano yung kinaadik ng erpat ko sa mga banda, ganun din sila. Iba talaga kapag musika ang bumubuhay sa dugo mo. Pero sa ngayon, ang rakista.com hindi na ganun yung talagang into music na mga tao, ang daming mistakes. Ayoko ng isa-isahin. Enough na.

Well, I succeed naman sa pag-oobserve ko. Nung una hindi ako nag-aattempt pumunta ng mga EB dahil najojologsan ako, pero napilit pa din ako. Na-enjoy ko company nila kaya naka-ilang ulit ako, at sa mga EB na yun, lalo akong madaming natutunan. Iba't-ibang klase ng tao. May weirdo, may broken-hearted, may inlove, may sapak, etc ...

Ang saya! Salamat sa mga naging ka-close ko kahit puro lalake lang talaga mga nakasundo ko. Nag-enjoy ako sobra. Pero everything has it's end. Ayoko ng i-spoiled sarili ko. Tama na muna, madaming bagay pa ang kailangan kong mas bigyan ng atensyon. Sabagay, tuwing summer lang naman ako napupunta sa RAKISTA. Hahaha! Ayun,sana sa next summer na lang ulit kapag hindi busy. Salamat sa lahat. (: Yung mga naging friends ko talaga, keep in touch pa din. Last punta ko na ng EB sa next jam. (:

Anyway, sa personal naman, wala ako masyadong masabi. Magiging busy nga ata ako dahil yung mga CMLI friends ko nagplaplano ng hang-outs namin dahil si Shea from Cebu magbabakasyon dito sa Manila. I suggested yung Ace Water Spa dahil relaxing talaga dun. Ayun. Last night naman galing akong inuman, inumaga na ako. Enjoy ako kahit puro lalake sila. Hahahaha!

Natagpuan ko nga pala yung lumang HISTORY PROJECT ko, na tinulungan pa ako ni Roldan sa paggawa. (:

floccinaucinihilipilification

a definition of all occurences from the start
with no ending that keeps on going connected not apart
it is bound by reality that makes it believable
treasuring it makes everything valuable

not measured by the amounts of gold or any currency
written success like the greek goddess nike
currently the root of all the victories
that is incripted on any soul's memories

made also by all kinds of misfortunes and mistakes
decisions that our founding fathers have high stakes
to avoid repeating same situations same results
we evaluate history and find way to consults

Wala lang. Just to reminisce the past. Thanks Roldan.

Miss ko na nga pala mga friends ko. Lalong lalo na si Saging Magno. :( Team A na siya yehey! Makikita ko na siya sa Araneta. Ayun. Siguro dito na muna. Mahaba na to. Hahahaha!

Accomplished.

2009-04-28T20:36:00.001-07:00

Ages ago since my last post. Yay for me. I'm already enrolled, I have my schedule na and I don't think it's a nice schedule. May subjects ako na for 3-5 hours straight. How cool is that right? Naubusan ako ng slot sa Badminton, so pinili ko na lang is Fitness. Grabe no? Everything I planned, changed.

Anyway, better luck next time. Nakapag-Puerto din kami, at ang planong madaming sasama, nauwi sa apat lang. Anyway, wala pa ako sa mood magkwento, maybe next time. I'll post my experience with pictures. Ciao.

2009-04-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

"Hulaan mo."

Gula-gulanit na mga panayam,
Sino nga ba sakanila ang mayroong alam?
Mga walang bait kung makapagsalita,
Naliligaw na sarili para sakanila.

Sino nga ba ako at sino naman siya?
Bakit ako malungkot, at siya masaya?
Latagan mo ko ng sangkatutak na dahilan,
Para kahit paano ang butas ay mapunan naman.

Magulo, may nanggugulo, at isang nagugulughan.
At ako? --walang matakbuhan.
Tulong! Pero boses ko ay nawawala.
Aksyon! Mga tao parang naging bula.

Natatawa ako, pero naiiyak.
Pinagtatabuyan ako may kasama pang tadyak.
Lansangan parang isang paraiso,
Kapirasong pagkain, ipinagdaramot mo.

Nasaan ba siya? Nasaan ang nagkasala?
Ikaw bata, siya ba'y iyong kakilala?
Baka sakaling nakita mo,
Yung taong nangako sa baliw na ito.

Dahil bored ako, after a year nakapagsulat ulit ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. Pagtiyagaan niyong basahin at kailangan ko din ng kritiko. Salamat.

Looking.

2009-04-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I'm looking for a STRANGER that I can talk to. I need someone who doesn't know me. I need someone who can not blame me nor judge me. I want a conversation with someone I know I'll be comfortable to talk things with. Because I know that someone doesn't know me.

Ever since I was a kid, I'm fond of writing my problems on a piece of paper, leaving or posting it anywhere. I want a stranger to read it, I want to share my thoughts with a complete stranger -- give their points of view.

I remember, I've texted a stranger's number. Telling all the pressure I got, from school, family, friends and love. Lucky that person replied. I'm not sure of his/her gender but thanks to that person, what a relief.

Now, I don't know if I'm going to dial an unfamiliar number. I just badly need someone. :(

"The Bagoong with Love"

2009-04-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

"Bagoong with Love". Una sa lahat, gusto kong magpasalamat sa lahat-lahat ng masasayang ala-ala. Sa unang pagkakataon magsusulat ako ng tungkol sa ating dalawa (pilit kong pinipigilan).
Salamat sa pag-aalaga kahit minsan hindi ka gentleman. Salamat sa pagluluto. Salamat sa pagwawalis. Salamat sa pagpupunas ng lamesa, sa paghuhugas ng mga pinagkainan, sa pagliligpit sa kama na muntik pa nating pagtalunan, sa mga libre mo sakin kahit alam natin na kuripot ka, sa paghatid sakin pauwi, sa pagdalaw sakin sa bahay, sa mga jokes mo na corny, sa pagpapasensya, sa effort mo, sa pagpupuyat mo, sa pagsama sakin sa panonood ng mga movies na alam kong kinaantukan mo at lalong lalo na sa mga yakap mo na mahigpit sa tuwing kailangan kong makapag-isip. Wag mo sanang isipin na hindi ko nakikita yung effort mo, wag mo sanang isipin na wala lang sakin lahat. Lahat-lahat ng nagawa mo para sakin, nakikita ko. Gusto ko din humingi ng tawad, sa pagiging tamad ko, sa mga reklamo ko, sa mga opinyon ka na para sayo hindi na tama, sa lahat ng pagkukulang ko, sa pagiging hindi malambing na alam kong hinahanap-hanap mo sa isang babae, at sa pagsiko ko lagi sa nguso mo na alam ko namamaga na.

Hindi ko ma-ikakaila na mahal kita. Sino ba naman hindi mapapamahal kung araw-araw tayong magkausap? Alam ko baduy tong sasabihin ko, pero sa tuwing yinayakap mo ko, lalo kong nararamdaman na mahal na mahal kita. Siguro para sa ibang tao na nakakakita sa ating dalawa, balewala ka lang saakin. Siguro nga dahil hindi ako expressive na hinahanap nila saakin. Salamat nga din pala sa pag-intindi kung ayaw ko na maging PDA tayong dalawa.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko hihimay-himayin yung mga gusto kong sabihin sayo. Naghahalo-halo.

Ayoko din sana na isipin mo na wala akong tiwala sayo, alam mo kung kanino ako walang tiwala, bakit pa kita kailangan i-risk diba? Hindi ko kaya yun. Masyado kitang mahal. Gaya ng sinabi ko sayo dati, ayoko na ng nag-aaway tayong dalawa. Hangga't maaari yun yung iniiwasan ko.

Mainit ulo ko ng mga nakaraang araw, isang bagay na inaakala ko maiintindihan mo sitwasyon ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi mo ko mahintay. Hindi ko alam bakit ganun pinakita mo saakin. Napilitan na akong itigil yung relasyon natin. Hindi sa hindi kita mahal. Hindi sa nakahanap na ako ng iba. Hindi sa dahil sinabi saakin ng kung sino man. Pero dahil yun yung nakikita kong mas makakabuti sa ating dalawa. SIGURO.

Ikaw na din nagsabi, nasasakal ka na sa mga pagbabawal na ginagawa ko sayo, na kahit naman bawalan kita hindi mo pa rin sinusunod. Hindi ko alam kung ano magiging reaksyon ko dito. Patawad. Pero para saakin wala akong makitang mali sa pagbabawal ko sayo. Alam kong mas makakabuti yun sayo. Naiintindihan ko kapag pinagbabawalan mo ko, sinusunod ko yun sa totoo lang. Iniisip ko kasi na alam kong mas makakabuti din sakin na wag na lang sumama sa mga lakad ng mga kabarkada ko. Minsan mas pinipili ko na manatili na lang sa bahay at kausapin ka kahit may mga lakad kami. Mas pipiliin pa din kita.

Pero siguro nga. Hayaan na lang natin na maghilom kung ano man ang nasugatan. Hayaan na lang natin mapawi ang lungkot na hindi natin inaasahan. Mas makabubuti sa atin ito. Makakahanap ka din ng babaeng alam ko mas makakasundo mo at mamahalin mo ng higit pa sa pagmamahal na binigay mo saakin.

Mga imaheng kasama ka:

At ang kauna-unahang picture nating dalawa. Yung 'AXL' na alam kong miss na miss mo na.
PUNYETA. ANG PANGET KO DITO!!! :))

Salamat sa ala-ala. Paalam.

Holy Week.

2009-04-12T00:50:00.000-07:00

I don't know what's up with my life. Bad Vibes again huh? A black cat didn't pass by infront of me, I don't even have a birthmark on my butt cheek, and lastly I didn't step on my pillow to bring misfortune. Why are these things happening? Sucky. First, the SLOT, (read the older posts) Second, Spending the holy week all alone in this solitary house, though actually I spent a couple of days with my boyfriend. You guys don't have any idea how I miss my siblings. Third, my enrollment is scheduled on April 23,2009 at 2:00 p.m. and because I'm the luckiest monster in the world, that day is the official day for our PUERTO TRIP!!! 8:00 a.m. is the assembly time. Oh my Gulay. What should I do right? I asked my dad a favor if he could enroll me (Not infavor of me, going to Puerto all alone with friends), but my dad said I should work on my future firsts and accdg. to the UST PEOPLE, I should be there. OKAY. WHATEVER. Fourth being an unlucky person, UST will only allow students to shift after her first year. Bongga! 5 years in College? Not Bad. Worst. Plans.Plans.Plans.

Crap.

2009-04-08T23:31:00.000-07:00

I went to UST last tuesday and yesterday. I feel so badluck. They didn't allow me to reserve my slot for Advertising. They are unfair. They are not considerate. They didn't recognize the cut-off that was said to us last April 3, the official report date. But the best part is I found a new friend. We have the same case, I guess the Dean will always recognize us. I didn't give up pleasing the Dean to allow me to go to the course that I really want. I'm very confident because I didn't fail nor belong to the wait list. I passed. But that bullcrap didn't let me. He said there's no more slot left. WTF?! So instead of taking up ADVERTISING ARTS, I belong to 1AD 3 now. My course for the next school year isn't Advertising anymore, but INTERIOR DESIGNING. How cool is that?! I've so much expectations. I thought college life would be that easy for me because I've passed. My dream course. My dream school. My dream schedule. Plus, Math is not a problem anym0re. WASTE. WHAT A WASTE. I wasted the chance. I wasted my future.

Now, expect to enter a happywammy world. Hi Math, Hi hectic Schedules, Hi Plates, Hi poor social life. My Mom said I can shift to another course next sem. I thought I wouldn't do shifting, but No. I can't stand seeing myself not experiencing the life of a College Advertising Art Student.
Suckiest. I need prozac. An Anti-depressant. Jk.

Hello College. Got a new friend and her name is "Mau" from St. Scholastica Marikina. We are now blockmates. Cool. Got a new girlfriend. I know I'm going to hang out with her every break time. I know we will click. Good vibes huh?

Almost forfeited.

2009-04-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I'm very much excited for college. It's been a long wait for me. Deciding what course to take is really a nerve wrecking for a senior secondary level student like me. Through all those past years, I thought I'll be taking up Nursing. Whenever people ask me about my course, I'll just simply answer Nursing, like I'm really decided and into it. My Mom even asked me for how many times. But a night before the entrance exam, I decided to change it. I decided that I'll just choose my interests over what is in demand. So I changed it. Bachelor in Fine Arts Major in Advertising. I know I'm going to love it, atleast It'll keep me away from course shifting. My dad is very happy knowing that I'm going to study in the university where he and her sibling graduated, University of Sto. Tomas.

April 3,2009 was my report date. But I got a lot of problems to overcome that day and I'm not going to elaborate it here because I'm too lazy to do that. Luckily. They re-sched. it. Thanks to God. I thought my slot are going to be forfeited. I thought I can not study anymore in that University. Prayers are very effective. So tomorrow would be my report date and I can not let anything to be a hindrance again. Rararight?

UNREQUITED LOVE.

2009-04-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Anyway, before I proceed to what I want to jot here, I just want to plug something ...

I AM LOOKING FOR BLOGMATES. (: WE CAN EXCHANGE LINKS IF YOU WANT. (: Aww. Hahahaha

It's almost 11 p.m. here and I'm still awake and kicking. I didn't have a good sleep last night. He snored so loud and it didn't make me at peace. Hahaha! Anyway I'll just keep my eyes open. (:

I can't get over with that your song episode entitled "UNDERAGE". Mushy yet it made me giggle. I just love to quote those two words. "UNREQUITED LOVE"

Accdg. to Wikipedia

UNREQUITED LOVE IS:
Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may not even be aware of their admirer's deep affections.

I used to be a die hard fanatic of this kind of love. Being unrepaid. For how many times I felt this awkward feeling. I remember, I even made lots of posts in my old scrapbook about this guy. Actually I've experienced this twice or thrice. Hahahahaha.

It came to the point where I've confessed my feelings for him. Guess what. He just changed the topic. LOL. Thanks. Bye. Hahahahaha! That time I didn't care whether he'll answer "I LOVE YOU TOO" or whatever it is. But you know it happened to break my dummy heart. Hahahahaha! He's not that handsome, he looks like a rotten fruit actually. Hahaha, but you know he is a smart, nice and a snob person. My weakness.

Holycowly. No regrets. I know he's just always there for me. He's just there to help me with my school projects. (: and thanks to him. After a year I realized that we are really not meant to be. He's way too far from me, He is in a different continent now. I can say that we are really in a good condition. Happy friends. (:

Toxic.

2009-04-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

For the nth time I made a blog again. Reason? I got bored. Home alone freak. Got nothing to do so I decided to rant here. Nothing much to brag. I'm making my own problem again which isn't totally a problem. Hahaha. I want to go anywhere, I want to hang-out with my friends who are currently busy with their lives now. Stucked up.

Well, we got summer get-away plan ANYWAY. we are going to Pueeeerto! (: Yay! But till now Mom is still undecided whether she'll let me to join in or not Fxck luck. How can I get my bread? she still owes me thousand bucks. I got dad on my back, though he'll give me money the problem is even him doesn't approve with that out-of-town thing. I understand them. Even I myself is also afraid of whatever it is there waiting for us. I don't know how to swim, so how can I save myself just in case I got drowned? Almost forgot. My body is enough to be a life saver. Hahaha. K. Korny.

But I really want to go there! I'm not after the swimming, I just want to party there. Cocktails, the night breeze, the splashes, the waves, the sand, can't wait to get nog-nog. I really really really want to go with them.

Since I didn't enroll to any workshops this summer, I don't know what my summer activities are going to be like. This time I want myself to be productive. I'll not let my summer to be a waste again just like my last summer.

Enough with this shallow problem. I'll just post later. K? Hahaha.